The T. S. Carruthers Complete Guide to Chick Flicks and Guy Movies

Definitions:

  1. Chick Flick – A movie that usually centers around a romance between a man and woman or centers around the friendship of three or more female characters. It usually involves a pop-y soundtrack, a gay friend and/or the main character being klutzy but cute and loveable.
  2. Guy movie – A movie that usually centers around violence with some sexual themes, or centers around sex with some violent themes. These movies are often set in Los Angeles, the Middle East, space or some made up place that has all the cool cars that real earthly places have, only more.

Rules regarding watching these movies with a significant other (SO):

  1. If you love either one of these kinds of movies, do not hold it against a SO who doesn’t. If they don’t want to watch it with you, watch it alone or with a friend.
  2. If you hate either one of these genres, do not keep rolling your eyes when a SO utters the words, “I really want to see that.”
  3. Keep an open mind. On birthdays or Valentine’s Day it’s good to bite your tongue and go see one of these movies with your SO.
  4. If it’s their favourite, you’ve really got to see it. You might hate it, but who knows?
  5. If you like a particular movie that falls under this category that you hate, admit it. You owe no explanation to anyone. You just like it. “And what’s it to ya?”

Rules regarding watching these movies with a friend:

  1. Friends do not make friends watch chick flicks/guy movies when said friend is not down with that. If a friend agrees to see one with you, remember: you owe them big time!
  2. vIf a friend is taking a potential SO out to a movie and needs a friend to go with so that his/her friend will have a date, you’re watching that freaking movie homeboy! Don’t leave your friend hanging.
  3. If it’s their favourite, just like with SO’s you should really watch it. This is an important person in your life, and seeing their favourite movie can give you some insight about them.
  4. If you hate chick flicks, don’t freak out if someone calls a movie you like a chick flick. Same with guy movies. Let them rant. They might just be trying to get under your skin.

The top 10 greatest chick flicks that everyone should see:

10. Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) — Very funny. I may even like the sequel better.

9. Sleepless in Seattle (1993) — Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks just fit together so well in this one, and they’re characters are very relatable.

8. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) — I actually think I was a bit disappointed with this one, but it’s one of the best movies to enjoy watching Audrey Hepburn being Audrey Hepburn.

7. Love Actually (2003) — This is actually (no pun intended) one of my favourite Christmas movies of all time.

6. Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997) — Another hilarious movie. Mira Sorvino is far funnier than I gave her credit for, and Lisa Kudrow delivers just as well as she did as Phoebe Buffay.

5. Titanic — James Cameron has a curse. He makes a movie that breaks all records and is celebrated by fans and critics alike, and as soon as it leaves the big screen it becomes the number one most popular movie to hate and/or mock. This happened with Rambo, Avatar, and Titanic. One thing is for certain however: watching any one of these in the theater at the time of their release is an unforgettable cinematic event.

4. Clueless (1995) — This is Alicia Silverstone’s best movie imho. It was like the chick flick version of Dumb and Dumber.

3. Bridesmaids (2011) — There isn’t an anti-chick flick movie goer who would not find this movie utterly awesome.

2. Notting Hill (1999) — If for no other reason than to watch Rhys Ifans play the main character’s roommate, Spike. I’ve only seen this movie once or twice, but there are scenes from this movie that I like to pull up on Youtube and re-watch for a good laugh.

1. When Harry Met Sally (1989) — Classic of classics in the genre of chick flicks

The top 10 greatest guy movies that everyone should see:

10. Gladiator (2000) — As good as Russell Crowe is, he’s never been able to top this beauty.

9. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) — I could quote this one all day long. All. Day. Long.

8. Fight Club (1999) — I’m sorry, I can’t talk about this one.

7. Braveheart (1995) — Long, yes. Violent, yes. But oh so good!

6. Rocky (1976) — I’d dare say it’s more inspirational than Gladiator and Braveheart put together.

5. Pulp Fiction (1994) — And there it is again. I’m craving a Royale with cheese.

4. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) — If this one doesn’t get you riled up, nothing will.

3. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980) — Me: “Empire Strikes Back, I love you.” ESB: “I know.”

2. Die Hard (1988) — There’s a reason Chris Farley asked all of the guests on his show if they’d seen this one.

1. The Dark Knight (2008) — As for guy movies, nothing touches this one. Yes, the highlight is Heath Ledger as the Joker, but the story gets better and better with each viewing.

The top 10 worst chick flicks of all time:

10. You’ve Got Mail (1998) — The makers of this movie simply saw Sleepless in Seattle and thought, “Hey, that one was a hit. Let’s try that again.” Did not work.

9. Princess Diaries 2 (2004) — The only thing I remember from this one is Julie Andrews mattress surfing down a staircase. The rest is, thankfully, forgettable.

8. Maid in Manhattan (2002) — My nose hairs got singed by this one. JLo, go back to the block.

7. A Walk to Remember (2002) — After watching this I had to take a walk to forget.

6. Failure to Launch (2006) — For years I thought Matthew McConnaughey was a bad actor. I think it all stemmed from this one. And one more, which shows up further down this list.

5. The Beautician and the Beast (1997) — So the TV show The Nanny was popular. So, let’s get her to do that bit on the big screen. So, let’s throw in a boring and unbelievable plot. That should work.

4. Pretty Woman (1990) — Don’t let anyone fool you. This movie sucks.

3. Miss Congeniality (2000) — Sandra Bullock has made some great movies, but a whole lot of pretty horrible ones too. I think this would be the worst one.

2. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) — My apologies to my sister who really likes this one. Since the main character is trying to lose a guy in ten days, for most guys it’s excruciating to watch her do this for 90 minutes.

1. The Wedding Planner (2001) — Matthew, how you got past this one and still made a successful career for yourself deserves a standing ovation bro.

The top 10 worst guy movies of all time:

10. Point Break (1991) — Keannu Reeves and Patrick Swayze, both in their cheezy deuce-iness.

9. Smokey and the Bandit (1977) — Burt Reynolds is a good actor. Problem is, he’s as funny as a parking ticket.

8. Rambo III (1988) — In the first movie he killed one guy. In Rambo III he mows down 132. Mostly with his shirt off.

7. Batman & Robin (1997) — The bat suit seemed to change with every sequel. Could’ve done without the bat-nipples Mr. Schumacher.

6. The Canonball Run (1981) — The stench of Smokey and the Bandit with a little dash of Dom Deluise’s wheezing laugh. Magical.

5. Armageddon (1998)— No, I think you DO want to miss a thing Steve Tyler.

4. Godzilla (1998)— Not the new one. Yeah the 1998. The one with Matthew Broderick. Yeah that one. Yeah….

3. Spider-man 3 (2007) — “All those movies that learned a lesson from the awfulness of Batman and Robin please step forward. Ahhhh, not so fast Spider-man 3!”

2. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)— There’s a conversation in the movie than sums up the movie itself quite well: “Don’t worry, I’m not making the same mistakes again.” “No you’re making all new ones.”

1. Jaws: the Revenge (1987) — The shark is terrorizing a family, so they take a vacation to get away. Of course, they choose a location with plenty of salt water surroundings: The Bahamas. The shark finds them anyway, and if I’m not mistaken he eats a plane.

Congratulations Titanic. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress: Kate Winslet in Titanic. This was the first movie I can remember seeing her in. She was perfect for this role.

Best Actor: Gary Oldman in The Fifth Element. That is one masterful actor.

Best Quote: “Music to drown by. Now I know I’m in first class.” — Jason Barry as Tommy Ryan in Titanic

This has been the T. S. Carruthers Complete Guide to Chick Flicks and Guy Movies. You need no other guide.

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6 thoughts on “The T. S. Carruthers Complete Guide to Chick Flicks and Guy Movies

  1. Mostly good guidelines here (loved the Fight Club comment). But as a fan of chick flicks, you ten worst list cheesed me off. Particularly You’ve Got Mail. But then again, I did meet my husband on the interwebs. 😆. While we are on the topic of Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks, I’d be curious to know your opinion of Joe vs. the Volcano.

  2. Well said again Audrey. My list you refer to was challenged by more than you. So, I’ll admit that maybe….just maybe….as a dude I’m out of touch with what the good ones are in regards to the chicky type of flicks. Maybe.

    I don’t have an opinion on Joe vs the Volcano yet as I haven’t heard much good about it. I love both actors but just never found the time to try this one.

  3. Hey Troy I love your blog! …I gotta echo the comment about You’ve Got Mail….Yes, the story is fairly contrived, but you’ve got to remember one major advantage it has: Nora Ephron. Her writing and direction was brilliant and definitely more than enough to keep it off a “10 worst” list…plus it has Dabney Coleman–I love that guy!

  4. Troy,
    For someone who usually speaks my language you have me in quite a state.

    Where is “THE NOTEBOOK”? THE # 1 Chick flick of all time, says anyone who has ever watched it.
    Where is “Ghost”, the very film that caused every red-blooded female to rush to their local rec centre to sign up for pottery classes.

    And NO Troy, NO, Pretty Woman does NOT suck. Don’t go misleading the masses. And to follow that up with Notting Hill as #2 BEST? I thought I know you man, I thought we got each other.
    I could go on but I have noticed that your blog has been filled with long letters of personal opinion lately so I will stop here.
    I just want you to know that for once I am not picking up what you are laying down.

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