Forget Mary Queen of Scots, David Hume, and Alexander Fleming. I, a Canadian with Scottish heritage, hereby declare the following the greatest Scots:
10. Ewan McGregor — He was not only Obi Wan Kenobi, he was the cooler version with some killer light sabre moves. Plus, he learned “just to love and be loved in return.”
9. Richard and Maurice McDonald — If it wasn’t for these two, none of us would be enjoying Big Macs, Egg McMuffins, or Shamrock Shakes. Unhealthy? Sure. But envision a world without McDonald’s french fries and you will thank God for these two men.
8. TIE: Stuart Mackenzie/Fat Bastard — These two are both fictional and both inventions of the great Mike Myers. I’ve laughed myself sick watching these two on the big screen. “Heed! Pants! Now!”
7. Dolly the Sheep — Not a person, but truly a great Scot. The first ever cloned mammal and a pioneer, I am sure, as we all look forward to making a few copies of ourselves in the future to get more stuff done. Like Michael Keaton did in Multiplicity.
6. Tilda Swinton — Arguably the greatest Scottish actress. She totally creeped me out in both The Chronicles of Narnia and Snowpiercer… she just might be the greatest villain actor of all time.
4. Sean Connery — He’s 007. He’s King Arthur. He’s King Richard. He’s even a freaking dragon! But most importantly, he’s Indiana Jones’ dad.
3. JM Barrie — The author of Peter Pan, one of the dearest of children’s tales. Did you know he based the character Peter Pan on his older brother, who died at the age of 13?
2. Dr. John Harvey Kellogg — So yes, he is an American of Scottish-descent, but without him we would have neither Corn Flakes, Frosted Flakes, Rice Krispies, nor Mini-Wheats. And without that last one I would be a mere shell of a man. They’re like Popeye’s spinach to me.
1. William Wallace — “They can never take… OUR FREEDAHHHHHM!!” Perhaps the most revered Scotsmen and one of the greatest movie characters of all time.
This list should not be taken as a slight against Brave, however. Though Merida is not on the list, it’s a great film that I would definitely recommend. Besides, if she made this list, I would have to edge out the likes of Ewan McGregor or Fat Bastard!
Congratulations Brave. This is your week.
And the Oscar goes to…
Best Actor: Billy Connolly as Fergus in Brave.
Best Quote: “There can only be one!” — Christopher Lambert as Connor MacLeod in Highlander.
By the way, Mini-Wheats are not the only breakfast food brought to us from the highlands. No they didn’t invent toast or pop tarts, but the toaster was invented by the Scottish. So were refrigerators, fax machines, shortbread, and the telephone. So hug a Scotsman today.