Laugh Out Loud Movie Quotes

6473128033_7d8fb08e9b_zThe following words are not my writing; they are simply comedic quotes from movies, and they’re the funniest I could find. Regardless of whether you’d seen any or none of the movies quoted, you could read through each one and have a good laugh. They also won’t spoil the movie for you. Enjoy…

“I think I got it. But just in case, tell me the whole thing again. I wasn’t listening.” — The Lego Movie (2014)

Hey, bro? You mind putting on some pants? I find it a little weird I have to ask twice.” — The Hangover (2009)

“Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.” ◆ “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.” — Office Space (1999)

3270506120_b298b27ac5_q“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the war room.” — Dr. Strangelove: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

“Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listenin’ to her enough, or somethin’. I don’t know, I wasn’t really payin’ attention.” — Dumb and Dumber (1994)

“The price is wrong, bitch.” — Happy Gilmore (1996)

“…You can milk anything with nipples.” ◆ “I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” — Meet the Parents (2000)

“Thank you for a memorable afternoon. Usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature.” — Arthur (1981)

“Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.” — What About Bob? (1991)

6705002825_513b751264_q“Can I just spray a little PAM down there right before the baby comes out?” — Baby Mama (2008)

You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, ‘Wait a second, could it be?’ And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!” — The Hangover (2009)

Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.” — Uncle Buck (1989)5953241092_e7ffde5024_q

Look on the bright side. Nobody got hurt. ◆ People got hurt. ◆ I’m saying, I think they died quickly. So I don’t think they got hurt.” — The Nice Guys (2016)

I have a feeling we should kiss. Is that a good feeling or an incorrect feeling?” ◆ “Well… sometimes I have the feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmm…better not.” — Pitch Perfect (2012)

I’m kind of psychic.  I have a fifth sense.  It’s like I have ESPN or something.” — Mean Girls (2004)

Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I never tried” — Klondike Annie (1936)

Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.” — Naked Gun 33⅓: The Final Insult (1994)

I know, I know. We are your chosen people. But once in a while can’t you choose someone else?” — Fiddler on the Roof (1971)2163480845_1fa3b16376_q

“The ratio of people to cake is too big.” — Office Space (1999)

“Say, Lou, didya hear the one about the guy who couldn’t afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L2404?” — Fargo (1996)

Describing another character’s flatulence… “They sound like a baby blowing out birthday candles.” — The Other Guys (2010)

I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.” — Wayne’s World (1992)

Suicide makes you hungry. I don’t care what anyone says.” — Anchorman 2 (2013)

“There’s only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.” — Goldmember (2002)

“Those aren’t pillows!”

Congratulations Planes, Trains and Automobiles. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

10894722186_c0cf7bddda_mBest Actress: Kathy Bates as Annie Wilkes in Misery.

Best Actor: Steve Buscemi in Fargo.

Best Quote: “Now Daisy, I want us to work out a signal system of communication. When I elbow you real hard in the face, that means ‘shut up’!” — Kurt Russell as John ‘the Hangman’ Ruth in The Hateful Eight.

It’s nice to get that out. I love quoting movies and sometimes I get a little pent up. Thank you everyone for your forbearance.

 

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About troycarruthers

I am a franchise owner/technician specializing in mobile auto paint and tire rim repair. I live in New Brunswick, Canada, with my wife and children whom I love even more than movies.
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