Are You Ugly or Stupid?

These are perhaps the scariest words in the human language. Usually there is one that especially concerns us. For me, it is the latter. I don’t mind too much if someone sees me as ugly, but if they think I’m dumb I tend to take it hard. I love laughing at Derek, Hansel, and Mugatu in this week’s movie, but I don’t want anyone doing that towards me.

Can we even believe the sentiment that “everyone is beautiful” or “there is genius in everyone”? Is that too naive? Well, I can say that when my grandmother was alive I would look at her white, thin, balding hair, her missing teeth (age does weird things to us), and her hunched posture and I couldn’t think of anything or anyone more beautiful. And I must insist that this isn’t mere sentimentality. It’s as true as truth can possibly be. I’ve worked with mentally delayed and mentally challenged people and I cannot say in good conscience that they were stupid. Again, this isn’t because I think it would be mean or inappropriate. Deep down inside, I know it’s just not true.

As much as I have a hard time convincing myself of this, please take my word for it: you are beautiful and smart.

Well…except for you. You know who you are.

Congratulations Zoolander. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress: Jennifer Anniston as Jenny in Marley and Me.
Best Actor: Will Ferrell as Mugatu in Zoolander.
Best Quote: I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.” — Derek in Zoolander. Though one of my favourites is when Matilda confides in Derek and Hansel that she was a “fat kid” when she was a child and Derek responds with, “Ew!”

My Top 10 Favourite “Dumb Character” Performances

10. Brennan and Dale (Stepbrothers, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly)

9. Frank Drebin (Naked Gun, Leslie Nielsen)

8. Inspector Clouseau (The Pink Panther, Peter Sellers)

7. Romy and Michele (Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, Mira Sorvino and Lisa Kudrow)

6. Alan (The Hangover, Zach Galifianakis)

5. Navin Johnson (The Jerk, Steve Martin)

4. H.I. McDonough (Raising Arizona, Nicholas Cage)

3. Nigel Tufnel (This is Spinal Tap, Christopher Guest)

2. Cousin Eddy (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, Randy Quaid)

1. Lloyd and Harry (Dumb and Dumber, Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels)


And My 5 Least Favourite “Dumb Character” Performances

5. Bill and Ted (Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves) — I like the movie, and I love the lines they deliver, but I find the “dumb-ness” of the characters a little hard to believe.

4. Billy Madison (Billy Madison, Adam Sandler) — I’m not one to join in on hating Sandler, but this character just hasn’t aged well for me.

3. Brick Tamland (Anchorman, Steve Carell) — I love the movie, and I think Carell delivered better on this character than anyone else possibly could. But again, a little hard to buy.

2. Mr. Yunioshi (Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Mickey Rooney) — Yeah it’s racist, but also really stupid. Never found it funny.

1. Jar Jar Binks (Star Wars, Episodes 1-3, Ahmed Best)


5 thoughts on “Are You Ugly or Stupid?

  1. I have always said that EVERYONE has beauty…sometimes we have to dig a little deeper to see it but it is there.
    I just realized the same can be said for stupidity…however, one doesn’t usually have to dig so deep!

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