Pick your movie of the week: Graham Greene! (Aug 5-11/18)

You may remember this actor from his appearances on The Red Green Show. He is perhaps the finest actor to come from First Nations, Canada, and has been in more than 150 movies, including 8 that are currently in post-production. Which of his most notable movies would you choose for our movie of the week?

Dances with Wolves (1990)

The Green Mile (1999)

Wind River (2017)

How Deep is the Ocean

I’m going to go on record here: I would like to be cremated when I pass on. I guess it ruins any hopes any of my family might have of an open casket, but who really has hopes for that? Besides, it’s my death. It’s not like I’m asking to be laid in a glass case in the middle of the forest like Snow White did. What a diva. It’s a wonder the seven dwarfs didn’t all end up being referred to as Grumpy after that.

If it is even an option, I’m thinking that having the ashes scattered at sea would be a good arrangement. This way there’s no creeping out family by sitting in an urn on their mantle.

For many people, “the lake” is the greatest place to be. Fishing from a canoe, floating on air mattress, hearing the birds chirp, seeing the trees sway in the breeze. And I don’t disagree that this is wonderful, but for me this is no competition for the ocean. There’s something about that salt air. Breathing it in seems like the most refreshing and invigorating experience. It brings back positive memories of fishing off a pier in Yarmouth, going clam digging in Digby, and waiting for family to come visit at the ferry in Saint John. Even tasting the salt on my hands after swimming in it brings me back to going to the beach as a child. Add to that, lying in sand is more comfortable than any bed I’ve ever slept in.

And even when there is no sand—standing on the big rocks and looking out at the ocean, especially when there is no land in sight, is so serene I could stand there… Ok, I was going to say for hours, but that’s just unrealistic. Let’s just say I love it. Makes me think of eating dried fish with my Uncle Bob. or walking on the big rocks with college buddies during our Easter break. Maybe this is why Finding Nemo edges out Lion King and Toy Story in my list of favourite Disney movies.

Just today Joy and I sat on the beach in Cap-Pelé. She surprised me with a little getaway, waiting to tell me just after I woke this morning. I laid in the sand while she sat in a lawn chair, both reading whatever book we’re currently on. She commented on the way back to our motel that our time there felt like she had just been cleansed and refreshed. I felt it to.

So, yes, please bury me there if it’s possible. And if it’s not possible, feel free to be sneaky about it. Smuggle me onto the Digby ferry and do the deed over the edge of the boat when no one is looking. Just make sure the wind doesn’t carry me back on board, especially in someone’s face or something embarrassing like that. It’ll be fun!

Congratulations Manchester by the Sea. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress: Michelle Williams as Randi Chandler in Manchester by the Sea.

Best Actor: Chris Pine as Bernie Webber in The Finest Hours.

Best Quote: Robert Ford: “How’s that leg?” Dick Liddil: “Full of torment, Bob. Thanks for askin’.” — Casey Affleck and Paul Schneider in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.

I had forgotten that Affleck was one of the actors who had been accused of sexual misconduct in the light of the Me Too movement. I am very supportive of that movement and mean no disrespect in any way to the victims. Not that they read this, but I feel it’s important to point out.

The Greatest Mustaches in Movie History

Because these are movie mustaches, it is important here to give a nod to the following amazing staches of all time before we move to the big screen:

  • Lanny McDonald
  • Friedrich Nietzsche
  • Rollie Fingers
  • Mark Twain
  • Genghis Khan
  • Ned Flanders
  • My Uncle Randy circa 1982
  • Emiliano Zapata
  • Wyatt Earp

And now… the epic-est in movie mustachio:

  1. Inspector Clouseau played by both Peter Sellers and Steve Martin in The Pink Panther movies (1963-2009)
  2. The Swedish Chef in The Muppet Movie (1979)
  3. Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) from Borat: Cultural Learnings for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Khasikstan
  4. Ron Burgundy, (Will Farrell) from the Anchorman movies (2004, 2013)
  5. Bill the Butcher Cutting (Daniel Day-Lewis) from Gangs of New York (2002)
  6. John Ruth (Kurt Russell) from The Hateful Eight (2015)
  7. The Stranger (Sam Elliott) from The Big Lebowski (1998)
  8. Pedro (Efren Ramirez) from Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
  9. The Lorax (Danny DeVito) from The Lorax (2012)
  10. Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) in the The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Return of the Jedi (1983)
  11. The Tramp (Charlie Chaplin) from a pile of movies from 1914-1940.
  12. Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) from Gone With the Wind (1939).
  13. Captain Hook (Dustin Hoffman) from Hook (1991).
  14. Gene Shalit. Ok, he is a film critic, but technically he’s been in a couple movies. Plus, who can argue against that stache?

Congratulations Hot Rod. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress: Elizabeth Taylor as Maggie Pollitt in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Best Actor: Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz.

Best Quote:You don’t get it, do you Denise? I used to be legit. In fact, I was too legit. I was too legit to quit. But now I’m not legit. I’m un-legit. And for that reason I must quit.” — Andy Samberg as Rod Kimble in Hot Rod.

Best staches in wrestling? …See? I knew you were wondering that. Here you go:

  1. Eddie Guerrero
  2. Mean Gene Okerlund
  3. Hulk Hogan
  4. Road Warrior Animal
  5. Sergeant Slaughter
  6. Raymond Rougeau
  7. The Iron Sheik
  8. Ox Baker
  9. Ravishing Rick Rude
  10. Big Bully Busick

Theory of a Dead Man Walking

Seems hard to believe now, but the electric chair was brought about to be a more humane option over hanging. Hanging often took too long, which meant the person being executed suffered considerably and unnecessarily. The point of execution is that they die for their crime, not be tortured then die. It was also uncomfortable and traumatic for the people watching it happen.

When I was 10, lethal injection was being used for the first time in Texas. But I hadn’t learned about it yet. I was a little slow getting the news at that age and was just learning about the chair. Like all of us, I was horrified. Just thinking about what that could involve is the stuff nightmares are made of. But not long thereafter I did learn about lethal injection and felt better about it. And that is the reason it’s called more humane. It makes us feel better. The chair likely killed the prisoner faster (An acquaintance of mine died from hitting a power line at work. He died instantly. Surely the chair uses just as much voltage if not more than that power line.). When lethal injection is used, they do inject a chemical intended to put the person in a “deep unconscious state.” But in most cases there isn’t a professional present who confirms that they are in that level of unconsciousness (Ironically, this is a step required when euthanizing pets).

And in many cases there have been disturbing evidence found to confirm they felt the pain of the potassium chloride burning through their veins and inducing cardiac arrest.If we were looking for the most humane method, maybe we would stick to a bullet to the temple. Nothing is faster. But that would make us queasy. So barbaric…

I do not believe in capital punishment. Yes, I believe people do things that they deserve to die for. And, yes, if a family member of mine was the victim in one of those crimes, I would want to kill that person myself I’m sure! But I’m not convinced that taking a life is the answer.

Yes, the Old Testament has God commanding capital punishment. But then the New Testament came along with one execution—one that involved excruciating physical, emotional, and mental pain—that was done for all of humanity. That one should be enough.

Congratulations Dead Man Walking. This is your week.

And the Oscar goes to…

Best Actress: Geena Davis as Thelma in Thelma & Louise.

Best Actor: Sean Penn as Matthew Poncelet in Dead Man Walking.

Best Quote:Why don’t skeletons play music in church? Because they got no organs.” — Richard Dreyfuss as Centipede in James and the Giant Peach.

Little known fact. France stopped using the guillotine for capital punishment the same year Texas adopted lethal injection: 1977! They got rid of judicial executions altogether five years later, while in that very same year Texas put lethal injection to use for the first time. Ok, I need to watch some cartoons or a Chris Farley flick or something…


Pick your movie of the week: Susan Sarandon! (July 15-21/18)

She is a UNICEF goodwill ambassador, a winner of multiple awards, a close friend of Julia Roberts and an ex to Sean Penn, David Bowie, and Tim Robbins. She was requested 25 times to pose nude for Playboy, each time turning them down and keeps her Oscar award in her bathroom. She’s also an outstanding actress. Which of her movies below would you choose as a movie of the week?

Thelma & Louise (1991)

Dead Man Walking (1995)

James and the Giant Peach (1996)

Stepmom (1998)